Day 4: Your favorite quote/quotes

I love quotes, so it is hard for me to even just pick a few, but I chose 3 to share that are among my favorite:

 

I love this because I think we often times underestimate the little things, and we don't always give ourselves as much credit as we deserve.  It takes a lot of bravery to ask for help, and it takes a lot of wisdom and courage to accept the fact that sometimes we will just never know why certain things happen in our lives, and as hard as it is sometimes to wake up in the morning and face those things, it is always important to be thankful that we simply woke up. 

 

I love this quote simply because it reminds us how important it is to pick ourselves up from the troubles in our lives and not let them define us.  It is not what life hands you, it is what you make of what life hands you.  I know some really ugly people that have been through hell and I know some truly beautiful people that have been through hell.  The only difference is how they chose to handle their struggles.

 

There is really not a lot of explanation that needs to go with this one.  Do Good...Always.

Day 3: A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life...

 

There is nothing better that describes a moment than a picture, and this picture does a great job of showing a moment that I felt the most satisfied with my life.

My daughter makes my life worthwhile, and if I were to go the rest of my life as a single mother to her, I would be just fine, but there is something about the comfort of having a partner through it all that makes life even more complete. 

This picture or “moment”, I can say is probably the most satisfied with my life I have ever been.  At this moment in time, everything was right with the world.  It was Christmas morning…just like I always dreamed it would be someday.  I had my daughter, a living room full of presents for her to open, and a partner to share it all with.  My family came over to watch Evalee open her presents, and we had a fun day planned for us at Nick’s parents’ house with all of his family.

At this very moment, I had come to terms with my past, was completely enjoying my present, and was looking forward to a brilliant future. 

There was so much happiness in that moment, and although the future I saw at that moment in time can no longer happen, I will always look back at that time in my life with such love and gratitude.   

Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name

The meaning behind your blog name:

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Most of us have heard the saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".  But...what if you don't like lemonade, or what if life has handed you so many lemons you are just plain sick of lemonade?  I found the following quotes from different people regarding what they think should be done when life gives you lemons...

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”   - Cathy Guisewite

“When life gives you lemons, chuck it right back.”  - Bill Watterson

“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” - Ron White

“when life gives you lemons make grape juice and sit back and watch the world ask how you did it.”
― Tori Truax

 

“When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give you lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”  - J.K. Simmons

We have all heard many different spins on this saying, and I think what it comes down to is...we get to decide how to use the "lemons" we are given.  We probably all know people who have let their lemons make them bitter, and in some cases even destroy them, but I think we also all know individuals who were given a basket full of lemons and decided to do more with those lemons than just make a huge batch of lemonade.  They use their lemons to show us what it truly means to face life's greatest struggles with dignity and compassion.  They embrace, adjust, and move forward. 

I encourage you to not measure your life based on the "lemons" you are given, but by what you choose to do with them.

Day 1: Introduction and Recent Photo

A lot of you who read my blog posts already know quite a bit about me, but for those of you who don't, here is a little about myself...

My name is Meghan.  I am 26 years old and I was born on September 11.  I have two awesome parents, two younger sisters, and a younger brother.  I had an older half-sister who passed away in 2008.  From her I gained a brother-in-law and nephew.

I have had two children, my son, Bentlee, who passed away in 2011 at 3 1/2 months from SIDS, and my daughter, Evalee, who just turned two in January.  I have never been married, but my two children do share the same biological father (who is not involved).  Those of you who know me know my children are my entire world and that I'd kill for them, and for those of you who don't...well, now you do. ;)

I work full-time for a non-profit community action agency, and have been there for 3+ years now.  I enjoy helping people, and for the most part, really like my job.  Every job has it's pros and cons, but I love my co-workers and that is one of the most valuable things to me.

In my free time, when not completely consumed with my beautiful daughter, I like to do crafty things like make tutus and hair bows.  I like to think I would enjoy scrapbooking, but have yet to accomplish that.  I also enjoy writing, and kind of wish I would have taken the advice and encouragement of my freshman college writing professor and pursued it as a career.

I don't have a huge amount of friends, but the ones I do have are very close and important to me.  I don't always do the best job of being a great friend, but I think we all understand that life is busy...especially now that the majority of my friends have children.

I am currently single due to the devastating loss of my boyfriend a little over 4 weeks ago.  He meant the world to myself and my daughter.  I am currently picking up the shattered pieces of this crazy-beautiful life of mine, and finding my new normal, once again.

In a nutshell, I am very stubborn, and pretty shy until you get to know me.  I will treat you with respect unless you give me a reason not to, and even at that, I will probably still treat you with respect.  I wear my heart on my sleeve more than I probably should, and I have a tendency of giving multiple chances to people who don't necessarily deserve them.

If heartache could kill you, I would certainly be dead by now, but I'm glad I'm not because I don't believe my job on this Earth is done just yet.  My daughter still needs me here.

Feel free to follow along on the next 29 days of my blog challenge. :)

The Dance

Music has always been a good form of therapy for me.  I spend a good amount of time every day in my car driving to daycare, work, home, etc...and during that time listen to a lot of music.  I have never had a time in my life when I couldn't find a song to laugh or cry along with. 

Nick's brother and I have been sharing conversation back and forth on Facebook a lot during the last month...talking about life and Nick.  We have shared funny stories and fond memories of him, and always revert back to how we would give anything to have him back here with us.  Among our conversations, we have shared songs back and forth that have triggered many tears...I'm not sure if we were having a competition on who could make the other cry the most?! Haha...but regardless, I find comfort in music no matter how much a song may make me cry, and one that he shared with me that I hadn't listened to in years, really hit home.

I had touched on this a few posts ago...about how the risk we take for love is sooo worth it, and this song describes just that.  We take such great risk in loving people...we put our heart on the line when it could be shattered at any time.  The risk is so great, but as this song states..."our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."   The "dance" is the most enjoyable part of life.  If we constantly live life afraid of ever feeling pain, we would miss all the joy in life as well.  In the end you have to decide what's more important to you, never risking pain, or never finding love.  I chose to "dance", I hope you do, too!

 

"The Dance" Garth Brooks

 

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you, I held everything
For a moment, wasn't I a king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey, who's to say? You know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance
 

Here is a link to the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7FRbeaXjvk

And with that, I leave you with this quote:

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” - Erica Jong

The other side of Correctionville...

I am not a person who enjoys being busy every second of my weekends.  I like a little time to breathe and enjoy time with my daughter, but this weekend was definitely one of those that I found myself indulging in one thing after the other, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

On Saturday, Evalee and I took a jaunt up to Spirit Lake to celebrate a friend's birthday.  With questionable road conditions, my dad drove and visited a friend while we were at the party.  It was nice to have some one-on-one time with my dad.  Although a man of few words, he never ceases to amaze me with his wisdom and comfort.  It was great seeing our friends we don't get to see often, and help celebrate another milestone in their daughter's life.

On Sunday, we were supposed to go to a baptism, but with Evalee's molars coming in, we had a rough morning.  After a good nap, and some more Tylenol, we headed to visit a  long time family friend.  In fact, she happens to be the first friend I ever had.  She and her husband just had a beautiful little girl, and they were  home visiting her parents for the weekend, and we were fortunate enough to be able to meet up with them!  It was so great seeing everyone, including her parents, who were basically like my second set of parents when we were little!  She is one of those friends I can go years without seeing and still hold a special place in my heart for.  It was so wonderful seeing her and her new found joy!  Their daughter is just beautiful and I look forward to the day that we can get together and our daughters can play together. :)

We fortunately had a long weekend with Monday being a holiday, and Nick's family had the day off as well, so we planned a day for Evalee and me to visit them. It had been three weeks since Nick's funeral which was the last time I had seen them, so it was very comforting to be able to visit with them in person again.  Although there were times during the day that I couldn't find words to say, or things to talk about, just being there was enough.  I could tell Evalee felt a sense of comfort being there as well.  They have embraced us so much, and I will forever be grateful for that.  It was wonderful to see Nick's beloved dog, and see how well he has adapted.  Nick's sister carried Evalee out to the car for me when we were getting ready to leave, and we could both tell she was super tired from all the fun she had and love she got all day! :) His sister said to me, "I bet she will be sleeping by the time you get to the other side of Correctionville!"  Sure enough, in the 1-2 minute drive it took to get to the other side of that tiny little town, she was out.  It was a wonderful day with our new found family...yes, they will always be family.

Driving through that little town, and past his house still makes my heart sink to my stomach, and I had a good cry on the way home, but that's not a bad thing, and there will be more of those days.  Everyone needs to have a good cry sometimes.  In moments like that I am reminded how lucky I am to have had something that made losing him so hard.

Being a very independent, single mom, it was hard for me to let Nick help me out.  He often got frustrated with me because I was so used to doing it all by myself.  He wanted to help out with things, whether it was entertaining Evalee while I took a shower, or offering to cook for a night (even if it was hamburger helper). :)  He was also there to share in a lot of the joys I had with her...from Christmas...to her birthday...to her learning new things daily...it was so wonderful to have someone to share that with.  I am having to adjust back again to my world of single motherhood, and although I can handle it, I sometimes feel pretty alone.  This weekend was a great reminder of how I am never truly alone.

We are so lucky to have such a great support system.  And at that, a support system that keeps growing. 

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ”   - Jim Butcher

We are so fortunate to have so many of those people in our lives!

This was on the other side of Correctionville! :)