From the top...

I have always kind of been a writer, but have never much been into the blogging scene.  I enjoy reading other people's blogs, so I thought I would give it a try.

In order to completely grasp what I'm here for, I should probably get into a little bit about my past...althought that can be kind of scary at times...but here it goes...

After high school, I spent 4 years in Sioux City going to college and working full time.  I met a lot of really great people who have become true staples in my life.  Once I graduated from college - with an Associate Degree mind you - yes, I went to school for 4 years and came out with an Associate Degree...I guess that's what happens to people with indecisive minds.  Anywhoo, once I got my degree, unable to find a decent paying job in Sioux City, I moved back home where I found a job in a field I enjoy.  I am currently still employed with the same Non-Profit, and I love my job. 

Somewhere in the midst of all the school and work business, I met a guy...well...reconnected with a guy...who I went to high school with.  We hit it off and started dating...not too far down that dating road, I found myself pregnant...needless to say my family (especially my parents) weren't overly excited by this news.  In my small, conservative hometown, I think it would be safe to say that it is frowned upon to become pregnant out of wedlock - not that it doesn't happen.  It was a bumpy, pregnant road, but I managed and 9 months later found myself very in love with the most beautiful little human being I could have ever imagined.  It's moments like those you never forget in life...the moments that truly take your breath away...yes, they exist.  I gave birth to my perfect 7 lb. 3 oz baby boy, Bentlee Jacob on February 11, 2011.  I couldn't have been more proud at that moment in my life. 

I had scrounged enough savings to be able to stay home for around 2 1/2 months with him on maternity leave, and I loved every sleepless night of it.  I wasn't one of the fortuate ones who was able to be a stay-at-home mom, althought I would have loved to be.  About a month of me being back to work, I got a phone call that I think stopped my heart...my son was not breating and I was informed to go to the hospital as soon as I could.  I called his father and we both rushed down there.  May 26, 2011 changed my life more deeply than I think any day of my life ever will.  The doctor tragically informed us that there was nothing they could do.  Our son had passed from what they believed was SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).  I suppose that is something I will elaborate on in another post.

What most people didn't know at that time, aside from dealing with the death of my son, I had also newly found out (via home pregnancy test) about a week before his death, that I was pregnant again...yes...my son was 3 1/2 months old and I was pregnant...again...and again out of wedlock.  It was a roar of mixed emotions about a lot of things...and I had a lot of decissions to make between then and now...and obvioulsy...I am still here, alive and well.

About 9 months after the death of my son, I became a mama for the 2nd time.  I brought into the world a healthy 9 lb. 5 oz. sweet baby girl...who is now a feisty 1 year old and my entire world. 

I hope to elaborate on a few things in my blog ;), but that is the last 2 years in a nut-shell...a very small nut-shell.