May Memories

I haven't posted in a while...but today I have sort of a heavy heart.  May usually brings back some pretty loving memories, but also brings back a lot of sorrow and tears.  With Mother's Day coming up I can't help but feel thankful for the opportunity God has given me to become a mommy of two beautiful babies, but at the same time, I would be lying if I said I wasn't even a little upset with God sometimes.

May of 2011 was a great month in a lot of ways.  I got to experience my first Mother's Day, Bentlee was actually baptized that Mother's day.  He was such a happy boy pretty much all the time.  I was back to work so the time I did get to spend with him I just soaked in.  He was my pride and joy.  We would go on walks after I got off of work, and we would snuggle and watch American Idol after I got done with supper and cleaning up the apartment.  I loved every minute of my time with him, YES, even the sleepless nights!  I also found out I was pregnant with my little Evalee in May of 2011.  About a week after I found out I was pregnant again, Bentlee passed away.  It is just so crazy to me how so much happiness can turn to so much sadness in the blink of an eye. 

I remember specifically one of the things that really triggered my emotions after the loss of my son, and still triggers my emotions to this day is when I log on to Facebook and see people complaining about how their baby never sleeps, or how their pregnancy is just killing them.  I remember being so upset that someone could complain about something I would give anything to have back.  This goes for so many things in life, so I challenge everyone (including myself), that before you complain about something, think about all those people in this world that would give anything to have what you are complaining about, because my friends, it can always be worse.  Not only do I challenge you to think before you complain, but to also thank God every single day for all the blessings we have in this life.

"Count your blessings and your problems….If your problems outnumber your blessings, Count Again….Chances are the things that you take for granted were not added up…"

When tragedy strikes, such as when the bombs went off in Boston, or when those innocent children were slaughtered in that Newtown elementary school, we quickly hold tight to our children and families and give them an extra hug and kiss that night.  Truth is, we should be doing that every night.  Tragedy strikes when we least expect it and nobody is immune to it.   

Tonight, and every night, give your loved ones a kiss for Bentlee, for those Boston victims, for those innocent children killed in Newtown, and just for the mere fact that tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

My handsome little man at his 3 month photo shoot in May of 2011 :)