Well, as I type this I am currently laying on my king size bed in my Stoney Creek hotel room in Des Moines. It is my last night here (with one day of training left tomorrow), and I must say I am very ready to go home. I had to leave on Monday due to the weather possibly being icky Tuesday morning for travel, and I was not pleased that I had to do that as it was the first time I was going to leave my daughter over-night (let alone 3 nights!!) Not to mention I had NOTHING packed and NOTHING prepared for my mom (who was going to watch my daughter for 3 days)! I was in a panic and quite emotional.
A lot of you are probably thinking "suck-it-up, buttercup, we all have to do it at some point", others are probably thinking "why wouldn't you be excited to have some 'me' time?!" Well, you see...it's not that I couldn't use some "me" time, or that I feel like I am the only poor soul that has to leave their baby overnight because I know there are many moms that have to do it. I have come a long way since the traumatic day that I lost my son to SIDS, but I would be lying if I said I never worry about it happening again. My daughter is 13 months old and I still use an Angel Care monitor at night to detect her breathing (simply for my peace of mind).
It's not that I don't trust her in the care of other people - even though I am picky about who watches her - it's just that knowing I would be in close proximity to her if something were to happen makes me feel better. After a child reaches even 6 months of age, their risk of SIDS is greatly reduced, but it doesn't mean it can't happen. So, I still worry about it somewhat, and that is probably something I will never get over...even with any babies in the future.
That being said, I also miss my baby girl terribly and I can't wait to get home! I have enjoyed having a few drinks, visiting my brother-in-law and nephew, and going shopping and eating at the Cheesecake Factory for the first time...yes, that piece of chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake was worth every single calorie! I have one more day of training tomorrow and then I am home bound.
But with that, I am going to sign-out, watch American Idol, and get some shut-eye. :)
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